Trainspotting. I have to see this movie.

This was to be my final hit. But let's be clear about this: there's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be? Some final hits are actually terminal one way or another, while others are merely transit points as you travel from station to station on the junky journey through junky life.

Yesterday.

There is a saying that there are two places in the world where you are always welcome= church, and at grandma's house.
not true.
I was talking to my friend who was in a very difficult situation and she screams at me to shutoff the computer and when I explain to her the problem she says that my friend has issues.
more happens but I forget the rest. the point is I was cryingmyself to sleep last night.

people love me. people care about me.

I just don't care about myself.

I want it all to stop. but I'm not going to commit suicide. I'm not going to cut myself
but what can I do?
I need help, but I'm already getting lots of it.
it's not working.
Ugh.
I'm sorry.

:sob:

i'm a worthless fuck.

my feelings are indescribable right now.

i'm listening to the pretender by the foo fighters. I don't even like the song. I don't even like the band. FUCK THEM. david grohl can rot in hell. fuck him.
----------------
i feel like a fuck right now.

everyone is yelling at me for things i don't do.

everyone is yelling at me.

people are telling me things.
'

i hate them.

somepeople are FUCKS.


=UGH.


STOP.
STOPSTOPSTOPSTOP.


I NEED TO END THIS.



OREO.



FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUC,.FF

XD

http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_contentwire/task,view/id,6920/
http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_contentwire/task,view/id,6920/
http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_contentwire/task,view/id,6920/
http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_contentwire/task,view/id,6920/


This made me lol. poor trees.


http://www.heraldextra.com/component/option,com_contentwire/task,view/id,6920/
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Current mood: nice

currently listening to: faceless greed by Stabilizer, and Counting Blue Cars by Dishwalla

Currently playing: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. it's for DS. it's a lawyer game. you wouldn't be interested. why am I interested? because I'm like that, thats why. you know me. if you read my blog, at least.


-------------------------------


Sarah's right, I am a nerd who goes on the computer all day. but what's wrong with that?

if you have a problem, gtfo.
jk.
psyche, I hate you.
remember psyche? everyone used to say psyche when they were messing with you and it was hilarious.

I just stole that from Kyle Cease. But technically it's not stealing, since I admitted to it. more like borrowing.

Kyle Cease is hilarious. Check him out. he had a special on comedy central and it's AWESOME. download it off itunes. I can't give you the link because my web browser is retarted. because I'm on a PC.

I'm a Mac type of guy.

I lost my train of thought. I have to go make plans for the weekend. kthnxbai.

{.//.}

Mall tycoon frustrates me.

No, it really does.

I can't place the entrance to the stupid mall, and when I finally do, all of three customers show up during 3 hours of "time".
what a bunch of baloney.

It's four in the morning andthe tears are pouring and it's definitely worth the fight

Current Mood: Sleepy, but awake. you might consider me half awake, but also a little angry as well, because I have to type on a really, and I mean REALLY slow and old computere in the upstairs of my bubbie and zadies house, in theirr guest room. It's just annoying because I have to type really long sentences, and if I make a mistake, because their connection is so slow, I have to wait ten seconds before any text appears on the screeen at all. like if I wanted to type in COLORS I have to wait ten seconds before the whole rest of my blog shows up oin ther screen if I need to make any corrections for spell cheking., it's really annoying, even though blogger has an auto spell checker , I should just , I mean, I like to just write it -ttype it out myself because Ithink it'se easier.

Think that above was annoying to read? yeah, now you know what I mean.



Currently Listening to: Various latin Music over The internet. There's a new station called batanga.com, I'm listening to "Simpatico." it's latin music. it's actually really good, I think i'll visit more regularly now. I'll try some of their other stations. it might be good. It probably will be, so I'll try them.. You may notice I like a LOT of Web Radio. Mostly I like to listen to last.fm and pandora. Actually now though, I listen to them less and less "particularily last, fnm, I haven't listened to that in FOR-EVER. ( and pandora as well.) . I must have been listening mostly to AOL rtadio now, Xtreme ALT rock and the like other stations.

You may also note that I like to ramble. When I write, it's you usually freeform, so there you go. I love to write. Poetry, short stories, you name it. As long as it's not essays or research papers for school. Those are a pain in the ass. as you might expect ; )

-----------------------------------
I'm going to try to make an ASC2 art piece.

"""""""""""\
_ ( ('.})\
( (_>o)\
------------\
(( ((O=0))))))

I think thats a guy in a car.
,,,,,,,,
('-}\ _ (
(''' __ 0)\ (
(-O0)(O-0) (

and that's a bulldozer.

I MADE AN AIRPLANE EARLIER, BUT DURING THE PROCESS OF POSTING THE FUCKING THING GOT ERASED.

pretty cool, eh?




that last paragraph took so long I had to restart the computer (0-0)



I'm in Houston, Texas right now. I have family over here , and it's nice to see them once in a while (^_^)


WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS INFORMATION ABOUT FAMILY MEMBERS THAT SOME MAY CONSIDER BORING. PLEASE TAKE THIS INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN READING THE FOLLOWING PURPLE-ISH TEXT:

I have my older cousin ryan, who's pretty cool. he's really good at karate, like a second degree black belt or something, which means he could breask 4 foot boards and stuff, which in my book is cool. I have my younger cousin's sarah and nicole. Sarah loves to sing, but listens to annoying music. she's real sweet though and I heart her ^^. Nicole is just nicole. she's just kinda random at sometimes, and she's really fun to be around ^^
Then there's my younger cousins ben and daniel. ben is shy and quiet, but he's really cute and smile's all the time. Daniel is very active and enjoys playing soccer. he's really loud, and big for his age.

My Bubbie, Zadie, Uncle Larry, and Auntice Michelle, and Auntie Cyncthia and Uncle David don't deserve special paragrapghs because they're adults. sorry if you're reading ,this guys, this is a kid's only privelage. for cousins. But you know I still love you. ^^





Boredom Stops here.





I might be going over to my family's house later. it'll be fun. Ryanj's XBOX JUST HAD TO BRAKE WHEN I WAS COMING OVER so now we can't play halo online against millions of other people, united as a family.

but we have gamecube, and I brought over two extra wave bird controllers, so someone else can play if he or she so desires.

Making the ASC2 art made me lose my thought process. I'll post more later. I know there was SOMETHING ELSE. but later.

-------------------------------------------------

THE ASC2 YOU SAW HERE WAS REPLACEMENT ASC2. MY AIRPLANE GOT ERASED DURING THE DRAFTINFG PROCESS DUE TO A COMPUTER ERROR. ; (

AARRRGGHHH.
excuse me while I take my anger over the death of my asc2 art:



FIUCKIFYU09=MJU0IFEOJDSAO*.\LOAGRDJPO-\L]O9KFSFGUFFUFVGUFUFGFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF9098JF=9ESd(j_!i!)i!o)((ki_jik)1J



THERE WE GO.

Uber pwned.

currently listening to: shut me up - mindless self indullgence

current mood: excited

I was using a proxy to go on myspace during school (in which I am typing this right now) when some asshole kid decides to tattle on me. Acutally, when I was using the proxy, the teacher was standing behind me the whole time, so I got my ass handed to me on a silver platter.

I just got owned. By a teacher.
Damnit.

Morning.

Current mood: awake
currentlly listening to: lose yourself by eminem
-----------------

I know what I want now. I just dont know how to make it happen.

I have a friend In need and I need to help.
Problem is, I need help too.

I have one shot, one opportunity to seize everything I ever wanted. Am I Going to catch that opportunity


Or just let it slip?










I think I'm going to catch it. It's indescribably hard, but it might be really easy.
thanks for Inspiration, eminem.
I want this so bad. But I feel like a dick for it. She's new, and doesn't have any friends yet that might complicate things and... Okay nowvi sound like a dick.
But I'm not. I CARE ABOUT HER. I. Want her to feel loved.And if it doesnt work out( being bf/gf) at least maybe she'll be my bff.
But at the same time I have a friend in need. I'm helping him, too.
I have to go. More details yet to come.

Btw, flash is gay. I am going to try fireworks instead.

Bat Grenade.

Currently Listening: Shut Me Up- Mindless Self Indulgence

Current Mood:  idk my bff jill?

----------------------------------------

Still waiting for crysis to download off of bittorent. Did I blog about that earlier?  w/e.

(.//.)

(.//.)

(.//.)

I'm Trying to learn flash animation. It's hard but it's going to be worth it. I want to finally put my time on the computer to good use.

I'm waiting for this person to go online, In the Meanwhile. Can't even tell you why. Actually I can. Want to talk to her, I guess.

Like really bad.

What does that tell you?

idk.

----------------------------------------------

SECRET LIVES OF THE FREEMASONS FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE NEW WHACK IS AN AMAZING SONG. EVERYBODY BUY WEEKEND WARRIORS WHEN IT COMES OUT FEB.19th AT BEST BUY OR ONLINE THROUGH VICTORY RECORDS!

I cannot stress how happy I am that they have finally found a label, and have produced the BEST POWERPOP ALBUM OF ALL TIME.

debateable, of course.

BUT STILL.

--------------------------------

MMK I'M DONE NOW.

There we go. Now that that's off my chest, back to flash, kthnxbai.

don't forget to comment and/or post in the chat window, whatever is easier and most convient for you  ^^

Another Story I have to tell.

I was thinking about drawing on my computer's monitor with DecoColor Paint Pen two seconds ago, but I decided against it.


Thats my Story.

And we'll all float on All right

Current Mood: Anxious
Currently Listening to: Raindrops by Stunt. AWESOME ELECTRONICA PIECE. check it out on itunes.



I need a new pair of shoes. I'm thinking of getting thesebut I don't know if my parents will let me have them. They are expensve and they don't have them in the stores, because they're a special brand/ They have springs in the soles that make you run faster. I saw them in Newsweek. They look cool.
I also would like a mylo. a mylois basically everything I need to survive in my pocket: music, AIM, and the internet. Camera included. I love Sony now.


Today I went to an art clinic over at GBN. They had some art stuff we could do. I saw a couple of people I knew there, but the highlight of the trip was meeting this new girl, from this school I never knew about down in Morton Grove. We're friends now, I guess, because we exchanged Phone numbers and all that Stuff, but I didn't tell her about this blog. She'll probably find out sooner or later. I'll tell her eventually. maybe not. because then she'll look at this post and think I'm a creep. or something like that. eh, what the hell, I'll tell her in due time.

I also finished a science project. yay.





Oh my science.


I just realized that I really haven't been listening to Stunt. I've been listening to Float On by Modest Mouse. I'm gonna buy that off of itunes.



I like songs that sound happy right now. that song sounds so sunny and optimistic. It makes me smile
(^-^)

Typed at Skewl

Current Mood: Urgent

Currently listening to: the song that is stuck in my head? No One by Alicia Keys(sp)


Sorry I didn't post yesterday, guys. I had a lot of hw, studying, tutor, more studying and active reading.

Bah. I'm writing this from school. sry if I just abruptly end the post.

I might be researching a new camera for a trip to Washington DC. It's gonna be awesome, it'll HAVE to be awesome, 6x zoom, digital, anti-shake, all that jazz, for the low low price of under $250.
I'm researching at http://www.epinions.com


gotta go now, bell just rung, kthnxbai!

†† I figured out how to make a cross, thanks Geoff †† Even though Im jew

Arr.

Current mood: allright

Currently listening to: nothing. AOL Radio Broke D:
-----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm a ninja.

not really though.
-------------
I'm clueless about science D: sorry chris, I tried my hardest. arrgh. I should probably go over that right now.

that's what I'm gonna do, kthnxbai.

Super Tuesday!

Current mood: Ehhhhhh

Currently listening: Crawling towards the sun by The Hush Sound.
---------------------

WARNING: THE TEXT IN BLUE IS TALK ABOUT POLITICS.



Super tuesday is upon us!

no one else cares besides me!

but still!

we get extra credit if we go to the polls with our parents, so I did. I "helped" my dad vote.
Edwards should've stayed all the way. He SAID he was going to, but he didn't. what a pussy. I would've voted for him. I hope he gets the vp.

OBAMA FOR PREZ.

McCain should get Republican nomination. Thats the best worst case scenario, as I am a Democrat-supporter.

THE POLITICS TALK STOPS HERE.



School isn't going well.

I failed my spanish test, and in the math test today, I didn't even finish it. AND IT WAS 10 FUCKING QUESTIONS. THAT'S IT. but I only did FIVE. which makes me a tard.


my social life is getting better though, I think.




AOL Radio has too much Godsmack. They're not even that good.

You Make Me Sick.

By Egypt Central. on the Album Egypt Central.




new possible fave song? idk.


my current fave is buck rogers by feeder, which is (in my book) the official song of 2008.

because I said so.

Feeling Fucking worthless.

Current Mood: Ashamed.

Currently Listening to: AOL Radio, Xtreme Alt Rock is the station, as per usual. some godsmack a little bit ago, and right now pantera, but pantera sucks. music is amazing, it helps you get over things. the one bad thing about music is that music can't be your friend. It can give advice, you can give it your problems, but music can't give you advice for your problems. It's the way it works in my eyes.


today things are taking a turn for the worse.
I have problems, I just know it. some sort of a mental disease and it's just fricking annoying. actually not annoying but just Freaking.....ugh. FUCK. I hate this. sometimes I hate myself. I feel depressed.


I feel really anxious and really violent toward people I love. I feel like I want to scream and cry inside because of all the things I think about. I feel like I'm never going to get ANYWHERE.

We watched a video on depression in P.E. today and it was so stupid it was almost funny. It was so unlike the real thing, actors can't act out depression. Its impossible. It has to come on. just tell the actors that they have to grow the fuck up and get real jobs. then watch them get depressed.






I'm messed up, I'm sorry.



IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE POST ABOVE, DON'T READ THIS. THERE WILL BE MORE LIKE THIS. I CAN AND WILL GET ANGRIER.


sorry again.

sorry again.

sorry again.

sorry again.

sorry again.

Sunday, Someday.

MMMKAY!!! here's Sunday's post:

Current mood: just swell, that's the only way to describe it

Currently listening to: Mercy by OneRepublic. It's stuck in my head because I might be taking a couple of friends :-) and my sister and her friend  :-/ down to a OneRepublic concert because I got tix there, which is awesome.

--------------------------------

I woke up this morning seemed to me like everyday turned out to be a little bit more like...idk.

my ihome waked me up, and I went to sunday school.

It turned out pretty well, We talked about lots of interesting stuff, we talked actually about how and what happens when someone dies in the jewish religion.

Turns out something like

you go to God, and he says

okay, you did all these good things, good! you're a good person for that, thanks. now lets look at bad things that you did. You did a lot of bad things. take a few months in hell to work off all these bad things. After that, enjoy your stay in heaven! kthnx very much.

sounds cool, but it would sound really morbid if someone said "I can't wait until I die (.//.)" because life is short and heaven is forever so we should enjoy life while we can.

because heaven might be different, you know? we might be riding wild hyenas in heaven, trying to fight god knows what (heh, god knows what. pun. [shut up]) and the atmosphere is ketchup- flavored gas. gross, but true. 

idk, I'm not thinking about this one too hard at this time.

we talked about judaism's stance on aliens, too. 

They could exist. Awesome.

----------

I played around with a little of text color in this entry, more to follow, i don't know.

BlogPostOne.

This is the first post of what will hopefully be many.

Mmmkay, let's start with the basics.

I'm Nathan

I live on Earth

I have a couple friends,

I love Music,

I Read, Write, and Now

Blog.

I have a myspace, you can get it here.


I look like this

Now that we've got that out of the way......
--------------------------

Currently Reading: Nothing as of late.

Currently Listening to: AOL Radio. Xtreme Alt Rock is the station of choice. the song is....The Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. I'ma probably gonna buy that later.

Currently Playing: Nada, My XBOX is broken, actually though I just got Call of Duty 4 for DS but oh well.

Current Mood: tired
-------------------------


The song on AOL radio Just changed. Becoming The Bull by Atreyu. in my itunes already.

not that much to write about today. We had a snow day on Friday, which was pretty cool. I couldn't do anything though because my parents wouldn't drive me anywhere. *facepalms* that sounds pathetic but yeah.

today is...Saturday? yeah, I think so. Yeah, because I have sunday school tomorrow. I'll see what happens tomorrow. Nothing today.

I just got Call of Duty 4 for DS. Pretty cool so far, but the one on XBOX should be better. too bad it's broken. I just wrote that above. sorry.


Now it's Headstrong by Trapt. Also in my itunes library already.


I had improv class, which is like you go into a class with some other kids and a teacher and you act out anything that pops into your head. It's actually really fun, I really like it.

that's all that comes to mind now.


kthnxbai, see you tomorrow maybe? i dunno.

Sorry if this first entry was boring, I'll try to make it interesting, and more explosive, like the title implies.